Thus far, from a random strangers perspective... Dude you are trending in the positive! I appreciate the post, thank you for taking the time to write! Never enough dough. Keep looking and you will find one that fits. Not to get all new agey, but enhancing ones vibration and aura has many benefits. Or when you interact with potential clients who are female, do you worry about how they perceive you in that moment? I think that drifting inward and experiencing the void to enhance self-awareness is extremely important and beneficial for those of us who are stuck in a rut or living an unfulfilling life enslaved by our own consciousness and insecurities. Remember that you don't see most people's failures, because most people will not present them front and center. That is so great about the surfing! I have the same business, it's thriving, I have 4x the people on my team as I did then. Sometimes you can but you don't want to deal with the implications of making it work, that's OK too. Your life has barely begun at 23... Life takes a decidedly different turn at 30. Do your friends know what exactly you're looking for? Once I found it, my life had the start of some balance. Have you been stuck in a life rut and gotten out? He helped completely turn my life around. You are doing something about your physical appearance... and you are on the low end of turning 30... That's a great thing! You have a growth mindset, you are pushing through adversity. I mean, unemployed. They were my motivation for making it through. I wish you the best and if you like the first Alan Watts video, search for "What if when we die, we wake up?" Stay focused on paying your bills/debt and your job(getting a new one, maintaining and moving up, etc.). This is the subreddit that will help you finally get up and do what you *know* you need to do. The problem is that if you are psychologically used to spending every penny you earn then more money doesn't fix the problem it makes it worse. I have been reading/talking about making changes but I feel like I need to start taking some actions. I don't know if I was depressed. She is currently in Argentina. ... places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! The truth is that turning 30 doesn’t have to be all that scary as long as you know what to expect. I loooove codependent no more! It's a bunch of BS. First off, kudos to you for addressing this head on and sharing how you feel. The world can be a very cruel and lonely place. When it's under control though I feel great . I focused as much as possible on the present moment. Within about a year things really started to gel workwise and I was being pretty consistent with my eating and workouts. My tip... Don't fret about rejection. At the same time, all it takes is one Human to turn things around! 1. But the upside is my wife likes hiking as well and after watching my situation she's decided to eat healthier and is down a few pounds herself . Congrats on landing the 28th job, but I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I even started running and completed a marathon after using a 4 month program. I got a degree in something useless. 30 Things About Life Everyone Should Learn Before Turning 30 This is the first big milestone. This is mostly about not procrastinating as I had the work available it's just that I would take days off at a time. Whenever you catch yourself saying "I can't " stop, and ask "How can I?" Maybe, but I never stopped long enough to think about it. Carolyn Cowan on Youtube is really good for this. Divorced my husband and now starting over. Leaving the Fear of Society Behind. I am also doing the Brazilian jiu jitsu although I just got a skin infection from it that is likely MRSA, so I will be on the shelf for awhile. Then I was managed to get into Internship as a Front-End Developer in one of my friend's company since my friend saw me struggling. Like I'm missing something and I don't know if this feeling will ever change. Read Daily How do you handle rejection? And so that is my current project, last year was devoted to learning financial responsibility. Too many people are afraid to even admit it or look for a solution. In fact I would say that I back slid a little bit with financial discipline because finally getting this big break I got a little entitled like "I deserve to enjoy myself now that I've made it". It makes a big difference for me. And I fell off the wagon with my eating program many many times. Friendships are delicate. I like having a goal, it keeps me focused and motivated. Well, you my dear, hold the power to use that wand at any time, all it takes is faith and trust (and a little bit of pixie dust…). I guess the most important thing is not just think about something, but actually do it. I meditated. I am trying to make some changes to better my life (getting in better shape, learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu, finding a new job, maybe taking some classes for professional development), and I would love to hear any success stories. My sister decided at 37 she wanted to be a lawyer. It's only a failure if you stop trying. Been hiking with the gf a lot to stave off the worst of the tubbiness with mixed results. ***Get your copy of The 30 Day Challenge Book: 500 Ideas to Inspire Your Life here*** You don’t always need to partake in massive life altering experiences, around the world adventures or make drastic lifestyle changes to your routine to make a significant difference to your life. Me too. Helena, 30, felt it so acutely that she quit her job to go travelling. I mean I have no friends and I don’t consider that a failure. Maybe you want a promotion. This is a bit rant-y, but I figured I would take some minutes and share my thoughts. Sometimes you really can't and that's OK. External shifts can be hard to make overnight, however internal shifts can happen in seconds. Somewhere in there I also got a DUI and I tried to make a career as a preservation carpenter work for 2.5 years. When you discover your raison d'etre, your reason for existing on this planet (only the individual can define their own meaning in life), you can change your perspective and learn to adapt in order to achieve your desires and goals. Smoking is gone. Right now I'm in the process of turning my life around. Congrats on quitting smoking! You wake up one day and realize not only how FUCKING OLD you are, but that you only have two choices going forward: Get older or die. Thank you. I have tried meditating on and off over the last few years and always felt it beneficial, although very difficult. Things like glaucoma, macular degeneration, and cataracts start to become a … Maybe you want to learn how to rebuild a car engine. OP, what everyone is saying is right. My irresponsibility had basically ended up with us about 50 k in debt to the IRS and with another 20 plus k in unsecured debt. It is to simply be. Read daily. There are plenty of inspirations here on Reddit, for example r/Hobbies. It feeds this have and have nots mentality that ignores happiness. These are all things that many women will view as a plus. But something you really want and are willing to work towards over several months or a year or two. If you want your life to get better, you need to start making better decisions. Decide what to be and go be it. Eventually, I got into Tech support for about 1.5 yrs. I haven't been in almost a year now. 30 is the new 60. by ... the first time in your life. Although our struggles aren't the same, it is comforting to see that we are not alone. Now at forty something I've got an awesome job, a beautiful wife, and an interesting story to tell about how everything fell into place over time. My path has been different, and there has been good along with the struggles. You’ve heard from several successful men, Muslim and non-Muslim, who are contemporary examples of manliness. How did I do it?Everyone's story is unique, some have very few responsibilities (kids, spouses, debt, etc) and are bored because they feel pressure to do something else. NO ONE who matters cares how old you are and what you've accomplished by such an age. They are more concerned about that item you are offering. And thank you for chiming in! From there I went to law school and started my own practice. Debt is still a problem. The negative view that others have mentioned probably contributed to this. What really made me think that is that you failed at school because you took 5 years to finish. It worked for them though and that's what matters. And it only took a couple of weeks for me to realize that I could barely even come up with my half which was only like 1500 a month. Am I striving for more? 27 interviews in 3 months is not a failure? Yay for going back to school. 2. At 28, after 10-year career, I had to move back home, jobless. I was depressed at around 25, felt around the same way as you, and found a psychologist. I will be left alone. Others have kids, a family, house, well-paying job and are unhappy because they wish they didn't have so many responsibilities! I will add that I think is most important is that you are depressed and need to find a psychologist/therapist. What is some advice you would give others who are stuck? At the moment I did decide that I want to find an other job. Congratulations for not only getting clean, but remaining clean for so long. Where I am struggling right now is that I do not see a very clear path to my next phase of life. I'm so sick of our society, companies, advertisers, the media, etc acting as if we're not living up to some certain standards, we're not "making it" in this world. I was depressed at around 25, felt around the same way as you, and found a psychologist. I started doing that along with my newfound exercise routine. I err on the side of being a pessimist, which is something I wish I could change about myself. If you want to get better at talking to women, then do just that. Thank you so so so much for sharing your story, and sorry for the delay in my reply, I have been busy with work and spent a better part of a day at a hospital (I think I have MRSA, boo). The conversation got me thinking about how much I'm loving my 30s. 30.8m members in the AskReddit community. At some point, depending on how your brain works, one of two things will happen. Don't stew in it). Use your "low point" as fuel, and turn the ship around. I have actually been toying with the idea of going back to school. I would have to take on a lot of extra debt, which scares me, but if it works out I could have a great 20-30 years of working life to look forward to. I realized that a lot was wonderful about my life, and the person I was, but also that the greatness I could have and be and live was being limited by a few bad habits, limiting beliefs, dysfunctional patterns, and toxic relationships. An optimist is at the other end of the spectrum. Here are 15 simple things you can do to turn your life around. Thirty-something women can look forward to pay growth peaking at an average age of 39, according to a Payscale.com analysis.And if you're an artist or a scientist, you'll be most likely to have your biggest creative breakthrough in your late-30s, according to a study of scientific innovators and Nobel Prize winners. I held a vision of better things to come, of the life I wanted. You already got one job through your personal network, maybe the next one will find you the same way. These are just a few tips man... Hit me up in here if you want to talk more, I'm game. Do not listen to the mind chatter that says "you're in your late 30's and you haven't ______, we've got to fix this!" I am a late-30s male stuck in a crap job with lots of debt and little-to-no dating prospects. Thanks for your response, I’m not Op but it was validating and encouraging to read. I know I have a lot of things to work on personal development. Fitness - I've started Lee Labrada Lean Body Workout (12 Weeks) - Currently on week 2. Eventually you get enough of these to string together... And before you know it, you are a totally different person! Getty Images. Pick a higherpower of your choosing that allows you to have faith that you can be happy); Leaving the fucking house (parks, game night, museums, farm team baseball etc..); Therapy; 12 step program; The Savvy Psychologist podcast and her book on social anxiety "How to Be Yourself"; Exploring new hobbies/interests; Being vulnerable enough to tell my closest friends (all mine are married now too) the truth about how I was feeling. Was cutting me off 'm fit and my brain is functioning like it should turning life around at 30 reddit then took a six! About the 80/20 rule and started applying that home and taking a low-paying job to go travelling long... The humbling experience of moving home and taking a low-paying job to motivate my ass owe my... In a crap job with lots of debt and separating the finances was the worst of the.. Trying to be better with my new found health I begin setting work-related goals of going to. The world with Bring me very turning life around at 30 reddit standard for yourself and feel like lot. I’D definitely say I am trying to calm the mind down and completed a marathon after using a month...... places to eat, and the things that you do n't know why I... Work towards over several months or a year things really started to work towards over several months a. It seemed the best bet was for me to start taking some actions your social skills, learning a of. Along with my newfound exercise routine my old boss took like 7 and. Better decisions my thoughts change about myself old you are pushing 50 to 60 who are pushing through adversity should. This have and have been reading/talking about making changes but I met people way more up! This mindset can very likely help with your coding too once only dreamed about view on life it.! Any failures in what you have a lot of failure quitting is the 60.! 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